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"The Firsts are Always the Hardest"~ 12-31-22

Updated: Mar 1

Since my husband's tragic passing in early April, 2022, I have been faced with all the birthdays, anniversary, Thanksgiving and especially Christmas celebrations to face as a single person and not as a couple as we enjoyed for almost 50 years.. It was very difficult this year dealing with all the normal expectations of decorating, gift-buying, holiday get-togethers and such now as a single woman. I managed Thanksgiving fairly well as I opted to visit my son in his new apartment in sunny California and we enjoyed walking the beach for many miles, something Jim relished-sun, sand and warm weather. Spreading some of his ashes in the Pacific Ocean helped us feel he was experiencing the trip as well. It was also a short time. Then Christmas arrives...a month of "celebrating" and watching so many of my friends with their beautiful decorations, brightly lit outside lights, happy parties and hearing of shopping frenzies. On December 1, I literally wished I could fast-forward to January 1 and avoid it all. Jim's last time to see the family was at Christmas in New York, where my son and I went this year to be with family. For the first time in my life, I did not decorate our house or put up a tree. Why should I? I had no feeling of festivity and at the end of the month, I'd be the one to take it all down. Instead, I enjoyed our daughter and son-in-law's beautiful tree, being Mimi to our sweet grandsons and we had special moments remembering Jim in a candle-light ceremony one evening. A place setting was set for him at each meal. And yet though he is gone, we remember that he was celebrating his greatest Christmas at the feet of the God he worshiped for so many years. I KNOW the angels sounded even more glorious in person than in the carols we sang.....

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